Saturday, October 3, 2009


Five!!: Beautiful "Ugly" Girls
!!Spoiler Warning!!

It was Amanda Seyfried's latest role as Needy in Jennifer's Body that inspired this five, and it was (fittingly) the writers of Not Another Teen Movie that explained it best: "Agh, not Janey. She's got a ponytail, and glasses. She's got paint on her overalls!"
It's the way of showbiz I suppose. The story calls for the nerdy/rebellious/loser girl- a "non-conventional" girl. But it's still Hollywood right? So they cast a 21 year old model to play a high school sophomore and give her, sometimes literally, glasses and a ponytail. Don't forget to make her brunette! There now she's awkward and unapproachable. It would take hell freezing over to make her prom queen... Right?
This of course sets up for the makeover later in the movie, which really just consists of restoring her to the way she looked when she showed up to audition. It's all just metaphors and business I know, but from the outside you have to admit it's pretty funny.

Rachel Leigh Cook- She's All That
One of the most obvious picks I know, but things are only cliche when they work. It's this role that inspired much of Not Another Teen Movies Janey in the first place. One of the reasons I felt this one had to be on the list was the movie poster. For more than half the movie she looks like she does above, but check the movie poster- she's all contacts and halter tops.
Sissy Spacek- Carrie
I suppose times were simpler in 1976. If you wanted an outcast then there was no need for bleach. All
you had to do was keep her pale and spare her the curling iron. Follow these simple steps and she's bound
to be on the outskirts. It was hard to watch her tortured by her peers just because her mom was a bit- strict... Though I don't think any one's feeling any sympathy for her at this point.

Jennifer Garner- Pearl Harbor
Unstoppable double agent, ninja, fashion goddess magazine editor- for Jen Garner it's all of the above. But slap a pair of glasses on her, and put that commercial hair up in a frazzled bun and you've got Nurse Sandra: The flighty nurse who weeps openly for half the movie and spends the other half as wing-man bait.

Emma Stone- The House Bunny
Yes, I've seen The House Bunny...

Mandy Moore- A Walk to Remember
I'll give you a moment to wipe away the tears... I know, two places at once. Returning- they took a bit of the Carrie approach on this one, pale equals who could love her? Well that's a bit of the an understatement- they gave her baggy clothes too.

Another Five!! from the Reel Deal but we both know there are so many more! Let me know if you think of any.

1 comment:

Kello said...

I have an idea for a five! you can do: Five sequels that should NOT exist. (#1 has got to be Agent Cody Banks: Destination London. We never needed the first one, so why in the world would they make a 2nd one. And Anthony Anderson is in it!!!)