Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Five!!: Awful movies I saw again.
Spoiler Warning!!

Every one's been in this situation: You and a few friends are all hanging out, and someone suggests that a movie gets put it. You've seen this movie and know that it is mind numbingly awful, but they haven't. So you sit silently and watch, gritting your teeth and begrudging them for having eyes.
The above is not what this Top Five is about. I'm not talking about movies I was forced to see again. I'm talking about terrible movies that I watched again of my own volition. At times paying money to do so. Let the shame begin...

Hulk (2008)
"Boom, Boom, Boom..." It was this scene where I realized that one of my favorite super heroes had gotten a raw deal. Hulk wasn't without it's strong points. I believe that the character is nothing without the psychological side of his origin, which is what Ang Lee tried to capture. He just did it really badly.

Aliens Vs. Predator
I just wanted it to be good (I foresee this becoming a main theme). Years of waiting, culminating in a bitter and complete let down. There wasn't even much of "let's trash it" angle, it was just bad. But I watched... and watched... and watched. AVP is like the Zapruder film of of movie adapted monster mash ups; you know how it ends, and you know you don't want to see it again, but still- you watch.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
With so many flaws, from lines like "It is, and always has been, your destiny", to robots with balls and overtly phallic cannons (Don't believe me? Keep your eye on the blender...), this movie had too many other failings for one decent character to redeem. I can't say anymore, the wound is still too raw...
Napoleon Dynamite
The first time I laughed. The second time I grimaced. The third time I wanted to hang someone. The fourth time I wanted to hang myself... And that's about where I lost count.

Starship Troopers
It became a guilty pleasure after a while- I started to enjoy the pain. People cry "it's a spoof, it's a spoof" , and I agree. The problem is it's a spoof that used the title of ground breaking science fiction novel as it's title. By doing so, it claimed to be an adaptation of said science fiction, and as such, it is awful. But the kind of awful that you buy a copy of and show to friends who've never had the pleasure of it's dis-pleasure.
And if you haven't seen it, I highly suggest you watch it with three or four of your funniest friends!

Special Thanks to JanssenOlthoff, and Backlash110 for the clips. All rights reserved by Marvel and Hasbro.

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